Hey guys, I haven't been around these parts much lately and I apologize. I've been getting a few LJ nudges and part of me really wants to come back, but I find that I just don't have enough time in my day... work's really busy so I can't squeeze a lot of time from that, and when I get home the last thing I want to do is spend several hours more on my computer. So yeah, it's not that I don't wanna hang out with all of you, it's just that life's pressures are building up and something has to give somewhere.

So a little recap. What's gone on since we last talked? Well I broke my hand taking a mountaineering course. My first ever broken bone and it kept me in a cast for 6 weeks. Pretty much ruined my paddling season and threw the rest of my summer's plans off but I tried to keep a fairly positive outlook on things (with moderate success). I've gone on some amazing hikes, and I went skydiving for the first time about 2 weeks ago. Wow, was that ever fun! Oh, and a friend introduced my to single-track cross-country mountain biking. Steep hills, narrow trails, and roots and rocks jutting out everywhere. Awesome! I bought an absolutely amazing bike (cost WAY more than was sensible, even though I managed to get it half price) and I think I've become infatuated with it. :)

I don't know if you remember all the way back to mid-February, but I won a best chest contest at the Pumpjack pub. Well, because of that I'm gonna appear in their charity calendar this year and I just had my very first photo shoot. I've posted my favourite shots on my Facebook account:



^{clicky clicky!}


So yeah, I probably still won't be on here too much. Maybe a little read here, maybe a little comment there, but unless there's a huge slump at work that leaves way too much time on my hands, I probably won't be able to devote enough time to LJ to make it worthwhile. But hey, if you're on Facebook, use that photo gallery to find my account and say hi. It'd be great to stay in touch.

Hey, sorry I've been so out of touch lately. Been up to a lot of stuff and just haven't had time for anything more than browsing my Friends page. But here's what I've been up to the past couple weeks.

( Racing by foot and by boat, and climbing mountains )

My paddling club's retail outlet had a kind of opening celebration party. There was a BBQ, lots of goodies to eat, and plenty of fellow paddlers to hang out with.

We also got to see the shop, including the new mold for the "Striker" OC6s (6-man outrigger canoes) they'll be building there. And even better? They had the two new OC1s (1-man outrigger canoes) that will belong to the club in a matter of days. Oh my god, those boats are so sexy, you have no idea! Sit-on-top design rather than a sit-inside cockpit, crazy sleek, and just screaming SPEED! I can't wait to take them out.

I took advantage of the special prices that day to buy my first paddle, a paddle bag, and a PFD (life jacket). I got 20% off, nearly saving me $100. Very nice deal, and now I feel like an official paddler! Now when I'm waiting to get picked up for practice I won't feel so weird standing around in my goofy water shoes -- the paddle slung over my shoulder will make it clear that the shoes are sport related, and not just a horribly failed fashion sense. :P

A friend from Winnipeg just moved out here on Thursday and I introduced him to the paddling crew. He'll probably join us for our Wednesday practice, and he seems pretty pumped about the whole thing. He was also super excited that I took him out with some other guys on a hike on Saturday. He's lucky... it took me over a year to meet people into the outdoors as much as I am, and he's getting into hiking/climbing/paddling/etc within a couple days. Hey, the more people I have to enjoy all this stuff with the better.

Of course, this all comes at a price. My back is really tight right now from doing a back/bicep workout on Friday, having a killer paddling practice on Saturday, and climbing until I could barely move on Sunday. I need a massage real bad. And considering we went on a fairly strenuous hike on Saturday (yes, immediately after paddling), I got totally worn out over the weekend. At the end of Sunday's climbing session, I suddenly hit a wall -- I don't think I'd eaten enough to make up for everything I'd done in the past few days (I'd only been a gluttonous pig, not a shockingly, disgustingly gluttonous pig) and my energy level went into a free fall. I grabbed a juice and a protein bar so that I could make it through the walk home, and then we settled in for a huge, dripping burger and some heart-attack-in-a-basket poutine at Vera's. It was well deserved and oh so tasty. Then I went home and collapsed into bed with a smile.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

I just finished my outrigger paddling time trials. My first ever. I've done races before, but those have always been in 6-man boats against other paddling clubs. Time trials, though, are in 1-man boats against your team mates to see where you place.

I was pretty nervous going into this. I'm still fairly new to this sport, only doing it for 3 months last year and a few months this year, while most of the people in this club have been at it for several years. In fact, you're still considered a "novice" for the first three years because it takes so long to get the technique really refined. Plus, I'm really not used to the solo boats. They behave quite a bit differently than the 6s, and I'm really not very good at steering them, so I waste more time doing zig-zags than I really should. Put it all together and I really wasn't too confident about how I would do. I know that I'm strong and that I'm willing to push really hard, but I was worried I'd be left way behind.

There were 3 women and 8 men, split into 3 separate heats. I was in the last heat, so I'd seen how quickly everyone else did the course. And then it was our turn. The course took us from the dock in False Creek, out to the green buoy near English Bay, then a hard left out to the sand barges, a 180° left turn back to the green buoy, and then a right turn and a hard push all the way back to the dock, for an approximate 6km race. Not long for a real race, but a pretty decent one for a time trial.

I CAME IN SECOND!

That's right, not only in my heat, but in the overall standings too! I had a time of 25:08, while the winner came in at 24 minutes and 40-some seconds. A 20-odd second spread in a race that long is a tight finish, and I was really proud of my performance. And when I saw how the others did? Wow! There was a 27-minute time, one or two 29-minutes, and everyone else was 30 or more, I think all the way up to around 34. And better yet? The guy who beat me is the other gay guy in the club. So the two faggots won! Woohoo! And yes, I even beat the owner of the club, who's been paddling for years. You have no idea how excited I am!

I'm on the biggest high right now. I've been jumping, laughing, clapping, and squealing in absolute giddiness for the past hour. I hoped to do okay, half-way expected to do badly, and ended up kicking ass! Woohoo!

They had the video camera out in the coach boat so that we could see ourselves paddling later and get tips on how to improve our stroke. If they have any video or pictures worth posting, I'll put them up. And yes, I'm shirtless, sweaty, and straining. ;)

Just a few days ago, I got a big surprise: A friend from all the way back in High School, with whom I'd completely lost touch within a year or so of graduating, sent me an email! See, we both have a friend in common who'd found both of us online recently (me about a year ago, the High School friend a bit more recently, I think). Well, she gave my High School friend my contact info and holy crap, we're in contact again.

Better yet? She's in Vancouver for a conference!

So I took her out for dinner last night and had a blast! She's lived all over the place, including Japan and Hong Kong, and even Victoria (just a quick ferry ride from Vancouver) until about 9 months ago. We chatted all evening, catching up on what's been going on in each other's lives for the past 11 or 12 years, and talking about people we used to know way back when. It was really great.

She's flying out to Victoria again in early June, so with any luck I'll be able to hop on the ferry or float plane to see her again. I had such a good time. Yay!

Okay, I switched my last post to friends only because I was an idiot. While I meant and stand by everything I said, I realize I shouldn't have used my ex's name in it. He sent me an email requesting that I remove his name, which I did, but I can't edit his name out of people's comments so I was in a bit of a bind. My only option was to mark the post as friends only, which I hate doing and which I've only had to do once or twice before. I like this blog to be an open book, but I realized belatedly that putting his name in here was overstepping the bounds. Crap.

That being said, maybe the point will finally get through to him. I may be a little slow at times, having this crazy penchant for giving people the benefit of the doubt even in the face of mountains of undeniable evidence, but I think the only thing that actually gets through to him is him getting hurt. There were several things in our relationship that I complained about and he never raised a finger to fix no matter how insistent I was. When it was just me being hurt by it, it didn't seem to register. But when it actually affected him, oh hey, time to change things! I must've been stupid because I never put two and two together until fairly recently, but it looks like a pattern with him. Really nice guy, very generous and kind... but completely unable (or unwilling?) to understand other people's needs if they're any different than his own.

I just hope that seeing that stuff posted about him with his name attached is enough personal hurt for him to finally get the message that I've been screaming from the roof tops for the past 1/3 of a year. I don't want him to have a bad life by any means, I just don't want his life intersecting with mine.

So aside from all the other hassles my work laptop has thrown at me recently, costing me over two weeks of downtime, it's now decided that the best way to boost my productivity is to overheat and shut itself down at the drop of a hat.

It's a fairly chilly day here in Vancouver today, at only 8°C (46°F), but I have the heat off and all of my windows open. Should I dare do something so bold as to close the windows or *shudder* put the laptop on my lap, it will promptly shut itself down and force me to go through the horrifyingly long startup process all over again, including the 20-some minutes it takes to get all my development tools and testing servers running again.

It took me quite a long time to figure out what the problem was in the first place, meaning I lost a bunch of time this morning with shutdown after shutdown, but needless to say, even though I've got things running right now I'm not too happy about it. I shouldn't have to sit directly in front of my wide open balcony door on a cold day just to get my work done. And what about tomorrow? I have to go into the office tomorrow, and it's not quite so easy to avoid the blazing "normal room temperature" heat there. Unless, of course, I unplug my laptop and work outside for the hour or so that the battery lasts, then go inside and recharge it (with the power off) for a half hour or so, and then head back outside. Repeat for nine hours. Not exactly the best use of my time.

I have a new laptop coming my way as part of the developer upgrade program, luckily. It's already arrived, along with a dozen or so others. The techies are currently re-imaging all the laptops, but I should have mine within a couple days. That means dramatically faster performance, no more time-sucking hardware problems (for now), and all this for only two or three days of complex software installation hell. I can't wait. *rolls eyes*

You know, sometimes I wish technology would just hide away in a dark corner and fuck itself. Well, at least all the shitty stuff I have to work with as a developer. Maybe we should just all convert to Macs here at work. And, you know, just surf all day or play with iLife. Can I still get paid to do that?

I think it started around Wednesday or Thursday last week. The most rancid, deathly gas you could ever possibly imagine. These are clear-the-room-and-don't-come-back-for-an-hour farts. And I'm not talking little peeps. I'm talking deep down, rattle-you-to-the-core, clear-you-all-the-way-out wind storms. And it hasn't been one or two. Oh no, it's an all day, all night, never ending barrage of noisy death the likes of which have rarely been witnessed on this Earth.

Why such a tumultuous tummy, you ask? Beats me. I mean, there were a couple days there right at the start of the weekend where my fiber failed me and my solid expulsions were a little less satisfactory than I would have liked. But aside from those two days things have been flowing pretty consistently. I've even had some mega-shits that probably set off a few seismic alarms, so you would've thought I'd be good and cleared out. But no. Still the winds blow.

I just don't know what to do. I mean, when I was younger I took a lot of pride in my incontestable title of Methane Man. But now? Having Bowels of Black Despondency just means I have to turn people down when they want to curl up for the night, and that's not a good thing for a cuddle slut like me. It would be nice to go for, I don't know, a half hour without an asphyxi-cloud brutalizing my environs. And it would be even nicer if I didn't have to constantly find safe places to secretly let them out so that no one I know falls victim. Strangers be damned, though. Unless they're cute, then I'll try to spare them.

I was eating at the Mongolian BBQ, one of my favourite quickie meal restaurants, and was thoroughly enjoying my meal. I'd had a full bowl of goodness and was up getting another one, taking full advantage of the all-u-can-eat deal. I'd packed my bowl to the point of overflowing with meat, noodles, and various veggies, and I'd doused it with a wide variety of sauces and handed it to the cook. I gave him a little tip and watched as he worked my food around the large, circular cooking surface. It was gonna be good.

Someone started coughing over by the raw foods. I glanced over in that direction and my heart was struck with terror! This short little woman was at the sauces hacking her lungs up... and was still casually spooning sauces onto her bowls as if nothing was wrong. She didn't cover her mouth with her other hand, she didn't turn away, she just coughed her filthy germs directly at the sauces as she went about her business. To make matters worse, she was short enough that the drool guard over the food didn't block her. That's right, there was nothing between those innocent sauces quaking fearfully in their open tubs, and her dirty, germ-ridden lungs discharging themselves so violently over everything in the vicinity. I was shocked!

Of course, being the polite, non-confrontational Canadian that I am -- okay fine, I'm just a big ol' wuss -- I didn't say anything. But I did give her an oh-my-god-you-didn't look. I don't think she noticed. Even without her behaviour, you could tell just by looking at her that she was one of those I'm-a-rude-bitch-and-I-don't-care-if-my-disgusting-habits-offend-you people. I was not impressed.

Oh well, I already had my food and it was germ free, at least to the best of my knowledge. I hunkered down and enjoyed my meal, thankful that I wasn't after her in line. Some people just have no class.

Okay, this ad was posted on YouTube almost a year ago so it might be old news, but I've never seen it before so it's news to me. Maybe I just don't watch enough (any?) TV, but in case this wasn't actually broadcast I have to post it here. It makes me want to drink Folgers all day long.

So I was sitting in the bathroom just now, doing a good ol' Number Two. Everything was going as planned, following procedure, with nothing out of the ordinary. While I normally have the bathroom door closed, I had it open this time because I was listening to music and I wouldn't be able to hear it as well through the door. Hey, I'm home alone, I'm not expecting guests, who cares? Having done the deed and given the guts a chance to settle, I gathered some toilet paper and proceeded to wipe.

And that's when the front door opened.

See, I always plan on locking the front door but it seems that, more often than not, I forget to do it. And all you have to do is take a few short steps through the front door to see around the corner and through the open bathroom door to me wiping nasties from my butt. Not the end of the world, but something I'd rather avoid subjecting a complete stranger to.

Whoever it was who walked in figured out pretty quickly that this wasn't their apartment and they left before reaching the poopy perspective, for which I am glad. It is a moment of embarrassment I'm fortunate to have missed.

I'm just glad I'd done a courtesy flush.

Yesterday was a long day. Not in terms of time awake, but in terms of distance traveled.

See, I started the day with a half-hour ride on the exercise bike. I don't usually do "useless" cardio like that, preferring to get my exercise from real activities like paddling, biking to work, or hiking. But since my bike is in the shop, and my normal activities are still on hold for a few more days (due to my cycling accident), I've been making do.

After that, at around 11:30, I decided to go for a little walk. You, know take a stroll around Stanley Park or something. But by the time I reached English Bay, I decided that, you know what? I always do the Stanley Park sea wall. I wanna do something different. I thought about it for a second and then decided to walk across the Burrard bridge and head over to Kits. So I did that. But then I got there and decided to keep going. See, when I was a little kid, I lived in Vancouver near Jericho Beach. I didn't know if I'd make it that far before getting worn out, but I decided it would be cool to head out in that direction. So I continued. I reached Jericho Beach. And then I hit the Spanish Banks. And then I continued all the way to Acadia Beach which is way out in the UBC's Endowment Lands.

It was now 3:30. I'd been walking for 4 hours and, based on a loosey-goosey estimate done through thumb measurements on park maps, I think I'd walked about 30 kilometers so far. It was time to go home. So I turned back, but this time decided to get back onto the main roads so that I'd take a direct route, rather than the wildly twisted shoreline.

On the way, I found the place I lived in Grade 3, and in the two summers following that. It was a co-op community at Wallace and 2nd and it was just how I'd remembered it, if not quite as big as it had once seemed. I walked into the grounds and looked around for a bit, letting the memories all flow back. It had been a lot of fun living there.

I continued on my way, sticking to 4th avenue. By now I was getting really worn out. Not only had I walked a long way in regular street shoes, but I hadn't had any water since 11:30, and no food since noon when I'd stopped to get a rosemary and rock salt bagel from Siegel's (to die for!). If I'd known I was gonna walk this far I would have prepared a little better, but I hadn't expected to go for more than an hour. This was getting to be a lot! It was now about 4:30, and I'd been walking for a full 5 hours and between 35 and 40 kilometers. This is after a half hour on the exercise bike, remember. I was hungry and I was thirsty, and my legs were getting sore.

And that's when I saw them. The most magical sight you could possibly imagine! My eyes lit up and my face beamed as I eagerly crossed the street. The most beautiful thing I could possibly imagine was just a minute away: The Golden Arches. I hadn't eaten at McDonald's in ages, and for good reason: I hate their food. Greasy, flavourless, and completely unfulfilling, but in the state I was in, it was like heaven. Double quarter pounder with cheese, fries, and a Coke. *sigh* It was so good! I scarfed it down in no time and then I was on my way.

A friend had called me and asked me out to dinner (I was still hungry, of course), so I was now pressed for time. I looked for a cab as I walked, not knowing the number to call and hoping to find one driving by on a holiday weekend. When I finally managed to hail one, I hopped in thankfully and told him where to go... and within a single block, he was already turning down Burrard! I'd had no idea where I was, and it hadn't even crossed my mind that taking the direct route down 4th could be that much faster than following the shoreline. It had taken me a full 4 hours to walk down to Acadia Beach, but after just 1 hour, I was already within 30 minutes from home! Hmpf, I could have kept walking and gotten home almost as fast. Oh well, the cab ride was only a few bucks and I'd already walked about 40 kilometers today. Not too shabby.

I got home, guzzled some water and walked (ugh!) down to Milestone's to meet my friends for dinner. And believe me, even after the greasy McDonald's I was still desperate for food!

I tried to stay up until a decent hour last night, but by 9:20 my body was telling me enough was enough. I needed some rest. I read in bed for a few minutes, but that was it. It was an early night but a very satisfying day, and a great way to end the long weekend.

Do you find it annoying how the airlines are cracking down on everything these days, including banning liquids and forcing women to drink their own breast milk to prove that it's not going to be used for terrorism? Well here's a really cool way to answer it:

The Second Annual Movie-Plot Threat Contest

That's right, the goal of this contest is to come up with a terrorist plot to hijack or blow up an airplane. The catch? A commonly carried item must be integral to the plot, so much so that the TSA will have no choice but to ban such items from air travel. The plot must be plausible (i.e. no science fiction here), but the more ridiculous the better.

If you're at all interested, the deadline for entry is April 30th. Give it your best go! If you enter the contest, make sure to post your entry on your LiveJournal too. :)

---

EDIT: You know, I've been reading a bunch of the suggestions on the site, and while most of them are just silly, there are actually an alarming number of frighteningly plausible ideas there. A bit more disturbing than anticipated...

Saturday was one of those days that leaves a lasting impression. The doctor said probably about 7 to 10 days.

( Joining the stitched crowd )

Oh... my... god!!!

I cannot believe there are people this stupid out there and I can't believe they have enough funding to actually put an "educational" video together.

Apparently, peanut butter disproves evolution. Yeah. Seriously. And the guy actually seems to believe it.

How do these people get through life? I mean, do they have to wear velcro dress shoes to work because they can't figure out the shoe laces? Sometimes all you can do is shake your head and hope that their evolutionary dead end will inbreed itself out of existence within our lifetimes. Please, god, please make it stop!!!

So my night started off really well. My friend C picked me up and took me over to J's place. J2 had already arrived, so the four of us started with some wine and cocktails and J cooked up a storm. This guy is an absolutely amazing cook... he's owned a couple restaurants in the past, and he plans on opening another one in the near future. Which means, of course, that he wants to test and perfect the dishes he'll place on his menu. And trust me, I certainly appreciate it. Crazy good food.

So we ate our way through three courses, and just a few minutes after we finished up, some of J's other friends started showing up for poker night. Now I'm not a very good poker player -- I've hardly ever played before -- but I decided to give it a shot. Hey, I was having a great time that night, I had plenty of wine and food in my belly, and even if I lose all of my buy-in money, at least I'm having fun.

So we started playing, and my pile of tokens was getting smaller and smaller. I didn't care too much though, because I was still having fun. That's when someone pulled out some... um... mind expanding social lubricant. He lit it up and started passing it around.

Now I've only done the stuff a few times before, and I've only ever felt anything from it once. I figured it was no big deal and was pretty sure nothing would even come of it. So I took a long drag, held it, and then coughed my lungs up. Par for the course when you're a newbie, right? Then it came around a second time and I did it again. About 30 seconds later, I started feeling something. Whoa, this must be strong stuff because the only other time I ever felt anything, it took nearly half an hour to hit me, and this was happening in under 2 minutes. Cool, I'd really enjoy this!

Well things got more and more intense and it got to the point where I just wanted to lie down. I was almost out of tokens by now anyway, and I was completely unable to focus on anything. I'd lost all track of time -- every moment felt like its own distinct period of time, ages away from the moment just a few seconds ago -- and I found everything to be utterly confusing. I think I did a little bit too much. So I went over to the other side of the loft and lay down in bed.

Um, yeah, that didn't last too long. All of a sudden I realized that I should really go introduce myself to the toilet, head first. Ugh! I went into the bathroom, closed the door and puked myself silly, several times over. I cleaned myself and the toilet bowl up, drank some water, and then went back to lie down. But within probably 30 seconds of putting my head down, I felt the nausea coming over me again. So back to the bathroom I went. I think I ended up in the bathroom 6 or 7 times that night, each time throwing up more of that wonderful food. I must say, it tasted better on the way in.

Of course I was mortified. The puking wasn't pleasant of course, and I just wanted the high to go away and to leave me alone, but the worst part was thinking that I was that annoying friend who lost control and made a mess of himself. Ugh. To make matters worse, I've only known these guys for a short time, and the poker guys I'd just met that night. So this was either a first or very early impression. Great. Yeah, I was embarrassed.

My friends came by to check on me a lot, asking if I was okay and if there was anything they could do for me. They were really nice about the whole thing, and they reassured me that it was totally understandable... mixing alcohol with the other stuff -- which was very strong -- particularly when I've barely ever done it before, could easily send someone over the edge. Ugh. They did their best to make me feel okay about the whole thing, but I still felt really stupid. Oh well, I think I'll avoid that stuff for a good long while. It's obviously more than I can handle.

I ended up staying there overnight, being in no shape to leave. Someone else stayed over too, although I was the only one to have had "issues" that night.

By the next morning I was feeling much better. A little bit "off", but fairly decent. Even at my worst, I'd made sure to keep tidy, so I hadn't made a mess in the bathroom or on myself, and I'd always cleaned myself up and Listerined plenty. And I decided not to dwell on the previous night. I apologized once again (I'd already done that a lot last night, to pretty much everyone who came to check on me) and then left it alone. I don't think it made any lasting negative impression, at least I hope not.

And that's when I realized I was starving. Hey, I hadn't had any sustenance since lunch the previous day... everything else since then had been expelled prematurely from the wrong end. :P So understandably, my first stop this morning was my cereal cupboard and the big club pack of chocolate covered almonds. Heaven.

Holy crap I'm so drunk I can barely type. Hell I can barely stand! This has been an absolutely amazingly fun night! After my paddling practice, some friends of mine came out to Pumpjack to wish me a happy birthday and oh my god did they ever get me drunk! I didn't spend a cent tonight and I can barely stand. You have no idea how long this is taking me to write, what with all the corrections I'm having to make. If I don't make sense, forgive me... I don't have a clue what I'm saying.

It's not all sunshine and roses. Someone stole my jacket. And my friend? Got his jacket AND his phone AND his car and house keys stolen. Not cool. Who would steal something like that? I just don't get it. I guess I'm just too much of a good boy to understand people who are totally fucked up in the head.

But oh well, it's not a big deal for me. Hopefully it's not too much of a problem for my friend. *fingers crossed*

Anyway, amazing-giddy-excited-bouncy day from start till finish. This has been the best birthday ever and it's only just begun! I'm so happy. Thanks to everyone who's made this a memorable time in my life. :)

So today is the day. Today is the day I turn 30. Today is the day my metabolism shuts down, my joints seize up, and my hair either turns completely gray or just falls right out. Yes, today is the day I become old.

Ha! Right. I'm really excited about turning 30. I get to leave those tumultuous 20s behind and look forward to all the good years ahead. I have more going on with my life, and am having more fun experiencing it than ever before. I'm getting out to enjoy the world, I've got good friends to share it with, and I'm having a blast! And as for that whole body shutdown thing? Aside from one or two grays in my beard, it's working better than ever. Yeah, things are looking pretty swell from here.

So how do I plan to celebrate? Well Wednesdays aren't exactly the best night for a big party, but I do plan on going to Pumpjack anyway. It's my birthday so I might as well do something, and if you're a local boy feel free to join me. Tomorrow a friend is having a little dinner party for a few of us guys, and then will try to fleece me out of my hard earned money with poker. And on Saturday after my paddling practice and some wall climbing, I'm going out for dinner with another group of friends and then we'll all be heading out to Pumpjack where I intend to drink far more than any reasonable man should. Saturday night is the night I'm trying to get everyone to come out to PJs, so if I haven't managed to get a hold of you in person, consider this your invitation. Chances are, you'll get to see me more drunk than anytime since my farewell in Winnipeg almost 1.5 years ago. It'll be fun.

Eeeeee! I'm feeling so happy today. 30s, here I come!

So my company is changing its compensation program. It's played up like a big awesome change for employees, but when you cut through the spin, it's more of a cost-cutting program than anything else. The peons are getting screwed again.

The long and the short of it? While I won't know for sure until May, I think this might be my first year with no raise. Considering the hell I went through this year, that's a slap in the face. I'm pissed.

"PS Triple" is the Shnizzle Yo!

This n**ga gets all the honeys!

'Sup bitches! Ya'll know that the PS Triple is the shit yo! That right bitches. Nobody want no Xbox 360. What, are they teaching geometry? Who cares about playing Gay-lo 3? And nobody want no Wii. The Wii? You can't pick up no honeys with a Wii.

Ahem. Now while I may be the type of guy who would enjoy using the Wii's dildo-like controller in "Wario Ware: Shove This Controller Up Your Own Ass", I fully admit that if I were a honey, you know I wouldn't ride with no n**ga if he ain't got no PS Triple!

NOTE: Mostly safe for work (i.e. no sex or nudity) unless you or your employer are offended by someone repeatedly using the "N" word as if he's a brutha from da hood when he clearly is not.